Prep for Marriage

This week was a fun topic: preparing for marriage! Mostly, we discussed dating, which I found very interesting, like always. :)

The first factor that "narrows the playing field" is propinquity (geographical nearness). The next factor is physical appearance (health, familiar looks, culture, lifestyle). Then it's similarities. We touched on something called the Relationship Attachment Model. It has three categories: know, trust, rely,commit, touch. For a healthy relationship, you should know the person slightly more than you trust them, trust them a little more than you rely on them, rely on them a little more than you should be committed to them, and be committed more than you touch them. But, they should be slightly balanced. If one thing outweighs the others too much, the relationship isn't very healthy and probably won't last. All five categories, close to balanced but weighted in the proper order, are vital for a healthy, lasting relationship.

All dates should be planned, paid for, and paired off. This can correlate to the male's role as a presider, provider, and protector. Planned = preside: presiding can be taken as over looking the proceedings of things, so if the guy plans the date, then, in a way, he can be doing just that. Paid for = provide: by paying for the date the guy is acting as a provider for his date. Paired off = protect: pairing off with a girl can cause the guy to feel responsible for her and want to protect her.

There are 4 words for/ types of love:

• Agape = charity, general love for fellow man (someone you've never met)
• Philios = brotherly love, platonic
• Eros = passionate, romantic
• Storage = parent & child

Many people misinterpret the kind of love they are feeling and can therefore thing they are in love with someone when really they may just care for that person in a loving way (such as motherly love or charitable love). Also, misattribution of arousal can occur, such as an increased heart rate can be thought of as attraction. Working out or going on a hike with someone of the opposite sex can make people think they're in love with that person, just because they're heart rate is increased and they feel excited.

Dating is extremely important in developing a lasting relationship with someone. You should go on dates regularly and treat them with the fun and care they deserve. :)